SERIES | NOTES FROM THE INTEGRATION FIELD ꩜
Ephemeral musings| illusions, ravens, birthing pains
Welcome to the series, Notes from the integration field, where I share ephemeral musings from my journal, dreams, personal divining, and anything else that may be in transitory movement through my field. If you like this, I invite you to share it with your people. Lets connect our webs!
I have been playing more in the realms of playful art, this ones mine.
Time is moving fast, the wheel of fortune energy spinning the field of creative possibility into mayhem. Manufactured outrage streams on the small screen. Division appears to be growing. Appears. Appears. I know its not the truth of it. My heart explodes with love for the humans I have met, am yet to meet and will soon know as beloveds.
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The collective unconscious is a haunting place to be. I close my eyes to land in the hellscape of reality. What is real?
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I sharpen my discernment into a fine needle point. You wont see when I pierce your heart, but you will know my blade. Just Virgo things.
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Raven gift from the neighbourhood conspiracy
My relationship with the neighbourhood ravens has escalated to gift exchange. There is a large conspiracy that hangs out in the tall manna gums out the back of my house and while I have always placed food out for them and all the birds in general, I have recently been offering them more officially, chicken. They LOVE IT. Now every morning I wake up to the sounds of their cackling as they ready themselves to devour my humble offering. I watch them, they come in twos and they remind me of Odin’s ravens Muninn (memory) and Huginn (thought), as they sit on his shoulder and act as his field of vision. I feel an affinity to the raven, their mercurial nature, their myth as seers that move between worlds and their divine intelligence. One of An Morrigan’s triplicities, Badb, Also moves as raven, as foresight, as messenger. The raven reminds me that I can only see from my vantage point. My neighbourhood conspiracy left me a small (dropped by a child or scavenged from the bin) wonder woman ooshie. I felt very cool receiving such a tangible offering.
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Sabian symbol art by Ruby Fumizki. For 0 Aries - A woman emerges out of the water, a seal rises and embraces her.
Last night I dreamed of birthing contractions. I was not pregnant in the dream, the contracting in my womb, something that felt more akin to a butterfly as it emerges from its cocoon. The dreamscape was barbie themed, my subconscious remembering the connection of that movie, to the myth of Inanna’s descent. What was really memorable is the visceral feeling of looking for a place to birth. That most of what I remember from the dreaming was a sort of quest to find a suitable place to - I don’t really know- birth? shed? convulse? You see I have done the birth thing twice and there is something so interesting that I remember not only reading about, but experiencing in my second birth. Mothers bodies know, through primal memory, if they are, or are not in a safe environment to birth. For some mothers a hospital feels safe, for some its home, for some its less so the place but the attunement of the folks or community around them. When I was in active labour with my Son, My partner was elsewhere looking for someone to take care of my Daughter, who was herself, just a baby. I was 8cm dilated and my waters had broken hours before that, but I hadn’t actually began contracting yet. I was shaking like a leaf in the primal knowing of what I was about to experience, my body frozen in place at the animalistic knowing that as soon as I stood up it was game on and I would give birth in the hospital, alone. The midwife came to walk me through to the birth suite and I asked if my partner was back yet, she told me not yet. I said, I cant go yet. I cant move until he is back. They wheeled me through to the suite as I refused to stand, I was 10cm dilated and I had the first contraction. Fear took over my body in memory of my first birth and of my solitude. There was nobody there for me to attune to. I stubbornly refused to remove my underwear as another contraction came, this time so strong that I began negotiating drugs knowing fine well I was way past that point. My partner walked into the room and in that moment my body knew it was okay, it was safe now. It was only one more almighty contraction and push as I brought my son into this world. My body in its most primal state, for an experience that can only be described as animalistic, knew exactly when it was safe because it was attuned to safety through my partners presence. So in the dreaming I was searching for a safe space to “birth” or even re birth in the context of this Inanna Barbie dreamscape. While I have been through many cycles of descent and know there will be many more in my lifetime, I am, at this moment in time, corkscrewing up out of the neck of the underworld. I can feel the air. The warmth of the sun. There is a very wild and full of life woman that wants to play and sing and dance and drum and create many many things living right beneath the surface of my skin rejoicing in Prima Materia of the alchemised parts. Even as I write now I am reminded that we are in the very last moments of the wood snake, shedding the parts that hurt the most, that are the hardest to release because it is so incredibly exhausting. I hope I become the woman that is speaking to me through the dreaming. Do you remember your dreams? are you a dream visioner like me?
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Thank you for reading The Void. Every like, comment and share is so valued, thank you to all of you that repost my words. Little Leanne, my inner child, truly rejoices in the energy of that so thank you.
I encourage you to go check out my website that recently had a little upgrade and you can listen to me in vocal storytelling mode in conversation with Teagan West ✧ Altar of Stars ✧ Teagan West
And on Britten LaRue’s Moon To Moon podcast more recently here
Until next time, Gràdh mòr agus slàinte mhath.
Wow yes I vividly dream just like this and so love your storytelling of your own dreams!! So much magic to receive all around us